Ready for Chemo....or not.

There are three stages in the process of trying to correct Chris' Aplastic Anemia; first suppress his immune system and try a chemotherapy called ATG (horse base), second wait three months and hope the first dose worked, if not try again (rabbit base this time), and third bone marrow transplant if the first two efforts do not work. We do not want to get to bone marrow transplant, we want the ATG to work...if we go to bone marrow transplant the odds go to 40% in our favor. No bone marrow transplant! 

It was the first of April, we packed Chris' bags and headed up to LDS for the seven day intensive chemotherapy. The doctors and staff took all precautions, testing everything, making sure all the i's were dotted and t's crossed...heart tests, CT scans, x-rays, blood tests, you name it, they did it...they did not want anything wrong to happen during the ATG. 

Two days in, and the chemotherapy had not started, we were getting nervous....why hadn't we started? 

BAM! Chris needed another lung biopsy! The doctors felt it was too dangerous to start the chemotherapy with a looming mysterious lung problem; the x-rays were making them nervous. The doctors did not want to start the chemotherapy and have it attack Chris' lung and completely destroy it and destroy him...okay, we agreed, we needed to be careful. The blood problem had to wait, we needed to find out once and for all what was going on with Chris' lungs. 

The biopsy scared me to death, here I was sending my husband, yet again, into surgery. I waited for him, hoping they would find out what was wrong with his lungs, finally, so we could proceed with his ATG therapy. 

These surgeries were taking a toll on Chris' body, and he was extremely weak and dazed. As I sat in Chris' room waiting for the biopsy to be finished, he finally reappeared. The surgeon very quickly stated, "I could not get through his lung, it will need to be removed," and the surgeon left, just like that. What kind of news was that? You do not just drop that kind of news and LEAVE! 

My world was turned upside down in a matter of seconds...his lung needed to be removed? Where did that come from? Chris had blood problems, not lung cancer! Or did he? They did not know.

I sat crying, waiting for Chris to wake up, nervous to give him the news that his lung was going to be removed and we were being moved to Intermountain Medical Center in Murray for the surgery...tomorrow! 

As I told Chris, his eyes welled up, I could see how scared he was in his already fragile body...how could he go through more surgeries, let alone, a lung removal? Chris and I held hands and cried, feeling alone in this big world, wanting this nightmare to end. When? When is it going to end?

Chemotherapy...not yet, lung removal...next step. Where in the world were we going to end up next?  

LDS has a positive note wall...family can write love notes to their loved ones as they walk the halls (which is all they can do). Here is my note to Chris....