Alone

Alone.

I don't want to be alone anymore. I need to open up about how I feel. I need to let people in. I need to say, "yes, I am scared my husband will die." 

The nurse saw me, he saw the fear and pain in my eyes. As I lay my head on my husbands soft shoulder, I let the tears flow down my face....but I don't let Chris hear or see me, I need to be the strong one. The tears keep coming, and wet Chris' shirt...."are your allergies okay?" Chris asks. "Yeah, my allergies are acting up today." I reply. 

Whenever, I feel my emotions coming out, I run out into the hall of the East 8 Bone Marrow Transplant clinic at LDS hospital in Salt Lake City....and I hide. I have been hiding for 4 months. My body and mind are tired. My spirit is sad.

Writing is an outlet that I hope can help me clear my head. I hope to share our story, and learn from my trials as I write. 2010, my husband became blind and my life has never been the same, if you will come along with me on my journey, I hope to cry, laugh, and grow with you; we won't be alone. 

If I am going to make it through this life...I can't do it alone. I need you, and I hope you need me. 

I pray my trials make me a better person, a compassionate person, a person people can turn to when they are in need....I will walk in your shoes, if you walk in mine.