No words...only hands.

This past month, I have worked ever so hard to get my new son to bond with me, to trust me, and to love me as I love him.

My son, grew up in a different world than many of us, "normal folk;" from homelessness to lack of affection from a mother and father...and the basics of life that so many of us take for granted, such as food, shelter, and love.

February 28, 2011 was the first time I hugged my new son; it was superficial nonetheless, but it was a hug to me.

March 2, 2011 was the second time I hugged my son; it was still superficial, but a hug to me.

March 3, 2011 I showed my son his new room, and his new home. I hugged him, again.

March 4, 2011 my son came home. We welcomed him with open arms, hearts, and the other children were excited to show their new brother the ropes of movie night: Pizza, treats, and movies, and sitting on mom and dad's laps. It just so happens on this night, as we were on our way to get the treats and pizza, my son said, "can I stay with you?" We replied, "yes, as long as you would like, even forever." "Okay, I will stay with you forever," was his reply. This night, I hugged my son, and kissed him ever so tightly, even though he may not have known how much I loved him. His hug was stiff and sort of forced...for he never really hugged and kissed before entering my home.

During this past month, I have kissed, hugged, and loved my son with all my heart, and yearned for that moment when he would squeeze me back, and kiss me on the cheek, because that would mean he has caught on to the way love goes. A kiss from mom means, I love you, a hug from mom means, I will never leave you, the words, "I love you," really mean just that, "I love you."

For a little boy who was never taught to trust, and show emotion with an adult, is making strides daily! I receive at least 30 hugs and kisses from my son a day! This coming from a boy who was never taught how to show love, because when most of us were born our mothers held us and loved us everyday, not my beautiful son, but now he will be taught...I will never, never give up on him.

Every day I tell all my children how much I love them and I show them this love by hugging and kissing each and everyone of them. It is funny to see the difference in each of my children when it comes to trust and love: Riley, has always known love, and even may take it for granted some days, but what normal kid doesn't...I guess I am grateful that she can take my love for granted, that means she knows love.  My 8-year-old, craves love, seeks it out, she needs my love. My 2-year-old, needs my love, he too, is missing the touch of his "real" mom, in fact, he gets mad if I show love to any other child! Now, my 4-year-old, could take it or leave it...he doesn't know he needs love, but I will teach him how it feels. Can you imagine growing up without the touch and love of your mother and you are now 4? I have my work cut out for me, but it is a challenge I will accept.

When Riley was very little we taught her how to say, "I love you," before she could even speak, with sign language. When my two foster children came, I too, taught them to say, "I love you," with their hands (my 2-year-old could only say a few words when he first arrived at my home but now can actually say, "A uve u"). Now, with my new son, knowing he would struggle with affection, I taught him the sign for love immediately!

Whenever I leave the kids, I sign, "I love you" to them, whenever I am not in earshot to speak the words, I sign...I always have. I actually have a video of Riley when she was 3 at a preschool play signing, "I love you" from the stage. Precious memories. My foster kids have even taught their birth mom to sign, as well, and for Christmas we bought her a "I love you," signing pin for her shirt. Since my son has been here, I sign to him constantly, but with no response back from him, but that is okay, he is learning, and I don't need him to do it back, but I have yearned for him to sign back.

March 26, 2011, as I was leaving to take the girls on a field trip to the store to learn about money, the boys were in the tub, and I peeked my head in to say goodbye to "my boys." The boys wanted to hop out of the tub and "give mom hugs!" Chris said, "no, just say goodbye and that you love her." My heart pumped fast, and the tears held back, as I looked at my two naked baby boys in the tub signing, to ME, "I love you mom." BOTH OF THEM!. Love can break the sorrow and pain of my son, I will succeed. I love my children with all my heart and soul.

Hug your kiddos tight, you never know just how much they might need it. I know I will.  

Here is Riley on St. Patrick's Day. The Leprechaun turned the oatmeal green. Later that day, we had our annual Leprechaun treasure hunt...it was great fun for the kids, cause 3/4 of them had never had green oatmeal and a Leprechaun hunt. I wish I could show you pics of the other kids, but by law I can't, I will when I can though.