My name is Brook, and I am a strong person. I think people believe that I am weak. I am not. I think that my quietness comes off as weak or shy, but really, I don't trust people. There are a lot of stupid people in this world, and I don't feel the need to waste my time and energy on things that are stupid. Period.
The thing that bothers me the most, is even some of my friends and family believe that I am shy or nervous around people because I am scared, not true, I just don't like certain types of people. I have that right, again, I don't like to waste time on people that I will not associate with...why? I have so much extra time on my hands that I need to pretend to be their friend or associate? No. Don't get me wrong, I am nice to everyone, I am never malicious on purpose, but I hate being fake.
Since I have been married, my voice has become much louder, the words I use to say in my head when somebody said or did something stupid or ignorant, now actually comes out of my mouth (sometimes not so nice), and sometimes it does get me in trouble. For example, Chris and I were in Walmart the other day, yes and Walmartian are the worst offenders at this, but we were in line getting ready to purchase a birthday gift for our daughter and a man just up and steps right in front of Chris and I, standing in line. Chris looks at me and shrugs, well, my "voice" came out and said, "sir, we were in line, and you just stepped right in front of us." Now, I know on reading it, it doesn't sound bad, but it was the way I said it, I didn't say it very nice. He was very ignorant, he insisted on arguing with me, that we were not in line, but I just shoved my way in front of him. I have lost patience for people who are just rude, where as before, I would have let him just step in front of me, and nothing would have been said.
You know the unspoken rule, the one where if you are standing in a long line, and a new checker comes up, you let the people who have been standing the longest go first? Well, I had been standing forever in line, and this blond woman comes up behind me...and a new checker came up and said, "I can help who is next!" Well, I started toward the new checker because I was next, well, the woman behind me had another idea. We looked at one another and she proceeded to the new checker. I had been standing there for over 10 minutes! I started for the checker, I stepped right in front of her and she said, "I am in a hurry!" Well, I said, "I am in a hurry too!" Needless, to say, I was checked out first! I love my voice.
Many of the people who read this, know me as quiet and very accommodating to others, and this is true, I hope. I do believe in showing respect to others at all times, but when people are just ignorant, I am a person too, and I have a voice just like they do, I don't believe that I was put on earth to just bend to everyone else. I don't think so!
So, I guess the moral of this story is, I am not a push-over like everyone thinks I am. I am an observer...that is what I do. If I feel that I have something to say or contribute to the conversation, and it is worth my time, I will say it! I don't like to waste my breath, it isn't from a lack of confidence or shyness, it is simply I do what I want, and I think that takes more confidence than feeling the need to fill life with pointless things and people.
The thing that bothers me the most, is even some of my friends and family believe that I am shy or nervous around people because I am scared, not true, I just don't like certain types of people. I have that right, again, I don't like to waste time on people that I will not associate with...why? I have so much extra time on my hands that I need to pretend to be their friend or associate? No. Don't get me wrong, I am nice to everyone, I am never malicious on purpose, but I hate being fake.
Since I have been married, my voice has become much louder, the words I use to say in my head when somebody said or did something stupid or ignorant, now actually comes out of my mouth (sometimes not so nice), and sometimes it does get me in trouble. For example, Chris and I were in Walmart the other day, yes and Walmartian are the worst offenders at this, but we were in line getting ready to purchase a birthday gift for our daughter and a man just up and steps right in front of Chris and I, standing in line. Chris looks at me and shrugs, well, my "voice" came out and said, "sir, we were in line, and you just stepped right in front of us." Now, I know on reading it, it doesn't sound bad, but it was the way I said it, I didn't say it very nice. He was very ignorant, he insisted on arguing with me, that we were not in line, but I just shoved my way in front of him. I have lost patience for people who are just rude, where as before, I would have let him just step in front of me, and nothing would have been said.
You know the unspoken rule, the one where if you are standing in a long line, and a new checker comes up, you let the people who have been standing the longest go first? Well, I had been standing forever in line, and this blond woman comes up behind me...and a new checker came up and said, "I can help who is next!" Well, I started toward the new checker because I was next, well, the woman behind me had another idea. We looked at one another and she proceeded to the new checker. I had been standing there for over 10 minutes! I started for the checker, I stepped right in front of her and she said, "I am in a hurry!" Well, I said, "I am in a hurry too!" Needless, to say, I was checked out first! I love my voice.
Many of the people who read this, know me as quiet and very accommodating to others, and this is true, I hope. I do believe in showing respect to others at all times, but when people are just ignorant, I am a person too, and I have a voice just like they do, I don't believe that I was put on earth to just bend to everyone else. I don't think so!
So, I guess the moral of this story is, I am not a push-over like everyone thinks I am. I am an observer...that is what I do. If I feel that I have something to say or contribute to the conversation, and it is worth my time, I will say it! I don't like to waste my breath, it isn't from a lack of confidence or shyness, it is simply I do what I want, and I think that takes more confidence than feeling the need to fill life with pointless things and people.
That blond woman was ME and we were together!! Remember...Costco...Yesterday??? You couldn't leave without me anyway...I drove you. ;)
ReplyDeleteLove it! I wish I were more like you. I think I've told you about my recurring dreams where I scream, yell, and beat up store cashiers? Well, if I haven't, now you know. Maybe if I spoke up more often I wouldn't be so aggressive in my subconscious! I'm going to learn from your example!
ReplyDeletebeing nice is one thing
ReplyDeletegetting use is a another.
Or taken advangaged is another.
there is wrong about sharing your feelings.