Tear open the diaper, wipe the hiney, fold the diaper, stuff the wipes into the old diaper, put the new diaper on, put the pants back on, again....change to the other kid, do it all over again. You never really think about life during the diaper change, but the other day while doing my usual morning "poop" change for both kids, I had a big thought cross my mind. Just imagine...wipe butt, life changing thought, wipe butt. Who knew, right? Right, well, it did.
I was sitting on the floor changing the second "stinky" diaper and I thought, you know all the diapers I have changed in this life, and am still changing, and will still change...not a single one of those children are my biological children. Not ONE! Yet, all these children whom I change their "stinkies" depend on me like a biological mom, or simply a mom.
It got me thinking about my lot in life, and how I got to this point (not literally, I sit on the floor to change cause it is just easier), but how did I get to this point in my life with all these kids!
I think back to the day in my bedroom when I was about 16 or 17; just a single thought, "you will never have children." I have never forgotten that day, and I know now, that it was Heavenly Father's way of preparing me for the future, and because of that whispering, I have always known, my life would be different.
When Chris and I were married in June of 1996, we wanted kids, but decided to wait at least a year. However, I became pregnant in November of 1996; we lost that baby Christmas Eve 1996. I will never forget that little spirit because Chris and I helped "her" get a body, a short life, but a body all the same, I helped a spirit return to the Celestial Kingdom, how cool is that? She will always be my perfect contribution to Heaven.
Chris and I tried and tried to have kids after that, but to no avail. So, you all know that story, in 2003 we adopted Riley, and we were so satisfied with her and loving her that we forgot all about having more kids...until we realized that we wanted the experience and love of siblings for Riley. So, we tried adopting, but it really is so expensive, and well, if you are not Temple worthy (which we were not at the time), you cannot adopt from LDS social services...so we decided to just kinda "give up" for a while.
In 2009, Chris and I decided (okay, let me clarify, I decided and convinced Chris), that we needed to do something...and I wanted to do Foster Care. If I could not have children of my own, and we could not adopt, I wanted Riley to have siblings, and learn the gift of service through Foster Care...and help those scared little kids at the same time.
In 2010, as you have read, we got our first case, and it has been a roller coaster of a story...judges, courts, therapy, crying, and so much more. It is really amazing the feeling we are getting from helping these kids, and the experience of life Riley is getting is so awesome.
So, as I sit during my diaper changes, I will wonder just how Heavenly Father feels about me and if I am doing justice with all the kids that come into my life, and are really making a difference (including Riley)...I really hope so. I know that the kids that are in my life (though not biological), and the kids that will come into my life, help me to become a better person, and serve my Heavenly Father...and maybe repay Him for the life and blessings he has given me, for I am blessed. Blessed beyond measure with Family, Friends, Gospel, Home...what more could I ask for? Okay, maybe not so many "stinky" diapers. I can hope right?
I was sitting on the floor changing the second "stinky" diaper and I thought, you know all the diapers I have changed in this life, and am still changing, and will still change...not a single one of those children are my biological children. Not ONE! Yet, all these children whom I change their "stinkies" depend on me like a biological mom, or simply a mom.
It got me thinking about my lot in life, and how I got to this point (not literally, I sit on the floor to change cause it is just easier), but how did I get to this point in my life with all these kids!
I think back to the day in my bedroom when I was about 16 or 17; just a single thought, "you will never have children." I have never forgotten that day, and I know now, that it was Heavenly Father's way of preparing me for the future, and because of that whispering, I have always known, my life would be different.
When Chris and I were married in June of 1996, we wanted kids, but decided to wait at least a year. However, I became pregnant in November of 1996; we lost that baby Christmas Eve 1996. I will never forget that little spirit because Chris and I helped "her" get a body, a short life, but a body all the same, I helped a spirit return to the Celestial Kingdom, how cool is that? She will always be my perfect contribution to Heaven.
Chris and I tried and tried to have kids after that, but to no avail. So, you all know that story, in 2003 we adopted Riley, and we were so satisfied with her and loving her that we forgot all about having more kids...until we realized that we wanted the experience and love of siblings for Riley. So, we tried adopting, but it really is so expensive, and well, if you are not Temple worthy (which we were not at the time), you cannot adopt from LDS social services...so we decided to just kinda "give up" for a while.
In 2009, Chris and I decided (okay, let me clarify, I decided and convinced Chris), that we needed to do something...and I wanted to do Foster Care. If I could not have children of my own, and we could not adopt, I wanted Riley to have siblings, and learn the gift of service through Foster Care...and help those scared little kids at the same time.
In 2010, as you have read, we got our first case, and it has been a roller coaster of a story...judges, courts, therapy, crying, and so much more. It is really amazing the feeling we are getting from helping these kids, and the experience of life Riley is getting is so awesome.
So, as I sit during my diaper changes, I will wonder just how Heavenly Father feels about me and if I am doing justice with all the kids that come into my life, and are really making a difference (including Riley)...I really hope so. I know that the kids that are in my life (though not biological), and the kids that will come into my life, help me to become a better person, and serve my Heavenly Father...and maybe repay Him for the life and blessings he has given me, for I am blessed. Blessed beyond measure with Family, Friends, Gospel, Home...what more could I ask for? Okay, maybe not so many "stinky" diapers. I can hope right?
You are a wonderful spirit. I am so grateful you are part of my life. Having the ability to care for children, even when they are not "yours" is wonderful. Not everyone has that ability. I hope for you good things to come!
ReplyDeleteBrook~you are an amazing person and an AMAZING Mom. I know that you are blessed to be a Mom to those kids who did not come from your womb, your home and heart is where they are supposed to and need to be!
ReplyDeleteYou are a better Mom to them than some women are to their "biological" kids. You ARE making a difference in their lives, but not only their lives, the lives of all those that you come in contact with because of your beautiful, caring spirit.
I love you and am glad to have you as a neighbor and a friend♥
crazy how heavly father know us.
ReplyDeletewhat we can handle.
What we cant.
We are all mothers no matter what.
which ever children come in & out of our lifes.