Well, it all started about 2 weeks ago, Riley wanted to have hair like Meg from the Disney movie Hercules. Actually, I guess you can say it started from way back, when she realized she was different from all the "straight-haired girls." It is a heartbreaking thing for a mom to have a child feel "different" in a bad way.
When Riley was about 3 she asked me why she didn't have straight hair and freckles like me...eventually, I had conviced her that she was more beautiful than I could ever dream, and that her hair and skin were perfect for her, but I guess that dream of "fitting-in" starts at a very young age and I guess she still is dreaming.
Everyday when I would wash Riley's hair for school, I mean everyday, she would ask, "can I have hair like Meg today? I told my friends you would do it." My heart broke everytime, and my heart broke beyond repair this morning. It all starts back to yesterday when my sister was giving Riley and myself a haircut. Amy knew Riley's dream of having "normal" hair, and decided that she would straighten Riley's hair for school the next day. What a loving Aunt....to sit and straighten hair for almost an hour and a half for a little girl who is aching to look like her friends, which I might add was a long process for hair such as Riley's (thick, course, and curly). It makes me cry just thinking about what it did for Riley, which made it even harder this morning when we awoke and Riley's hair was a mess.
Last night, Riley had talked on and on about showing her friends her straight hair; she was even going to show her hair for show-n-tell today. Oh, my heart leaped for joy at the prospect of her acheiving her dream of at least a day of being "just like my friends." I had a feeling that the hair wouldn't hold up through the night, but I couldn't dash her happiness. I simply thought, "I will try my hardest to get it looking good for tomorrow." Again, this morning my worst thoughts came true, her hair was fluffier than ever, and didn't look good enough to wear to school.
Telling Riley that her hair was not straight anymore was more than I could bare; I really did try everything to get it to look like Amy had done, but I could not. My heart broke when those big brown eyes looked at me and a tear started to run down her cheek as she said, "I won't be able to show Olivia or my other friends my straight hair," and, "my hair won't be straight for show-n-tell." How do I explain to her that she is as beautiful as she can be with any type of hair? I tried my best, I told her that Heavenly Father made her just the way she is because He thought she was beautiful that way. She simply cried, broken, while I tried to tell her we could do straight pony-tails. The best I could do was talk her into taking a photo of her with her hair straight from yesterday. Ah.
I know that this might seem like an insignificant reason to cry over, but for one that is alone in a crowd of many, as a mom I ache for my sweet daughter. I am proud of her that she goes to school everyday and is not afraid to be herself in a sea of stares, hair-pulling and constant touching of her curls, questions on skin color. Mostly, I am proud that she is mine. Mine forever.
"Baby...you look beautiful just the way you are! I wish I could take away your pain." .....mom.
Fortunately, I took some pictures of Amy's hard work, and my beautiful Riley with her straight hair:
When Riley was about 3 she asked me why she didn't have straight hair and freckles like me...eventually, I had conviced her that she was more beautiful than I could ever dream, and that her hair and skin were perfect for her, but I guess that dream of "fitting-in" starts at a very young age and I guess she still is dreaming.
Everyday when I would wash Riley's hair for school, I mean everyday, she would ask, "can I have hair like Meg today? I told my friends you would do it." My heart broke everytime, and my heart broke beyond repair this morning. It all starts back to yesterday when my sister was giving Riley and myself a haircut. Amy knew Riley's dream of having "normal" hair, and decided that she would straighten Riley's hair for school the next day. What a loving Aunt....to sit and straighten hair for almost an hour and a half for a little girl who is aching to look like her friends, which I might add was a long process for hair such as Riley's (thick, course, and curly). It makes me cry just thinking about what it did for Riley, which made it even harder this morning when we awoke and Riley's hair was a mess.
Last night, Riley had talked on and on about showing her friends her straight hair; she was even going to show her hair for show-n-tell today. Oh, my heart leaped for joy at the prospect of her acheiving her dream of at least a day of being "just like my friends." I had a feeling that the hair wouldn't hold up through the night, but I couldn't dash her happiness. I simply thought, "I will try my hardest to get it looking good for tomorrow." Again, this morning my worst thoughts came true, her hair was fluffier than ever, and didn't look good enough to wear to school.
Telling Riley that her hair was not straight anymore was more than I could bare; I really did try everything to get it to look like Amy had done, but I could not. My heart broke when those big brown eyes looked at me and a tear started to run down her cheek as she said, "I won't be able to show Olivia or my other friends my straight hair," and, "my hair won't be straight for show-n-tell." How do I explain to her that she is as beautiful as she can be with any type of hair? I tried my best, I told her that Heavenly Father made her just the way she is because He thought she was beautiful that way. She simply cried, broken, while I tried to tell her we could do straight pony-tails. The best I could do was talk her into taking a photo of her with her hair straight from yesterday. Ah.
I know that this might seem like an insignificant reason to cry over, but for one that is alone in a crowd of many, as a mom I ache for my sweet daughter. I am proud of her that she goes to school everyday and is not afraid to be herself in a sea of stares, hair-pulling and constant touching of her curls, questions on skin color. Mostly, I am proud that she is mine. Mine forever.
"Baby...you look beautiful just the way you are! I wish I could take away your pain." .....mom.
Fortunately, I took some pictures of Amy's hard work, and my beautiful Riley with her straight hair:
Isn't she beautiful?
Amy told me about how excited Riley was to have straight hair. That is so cute. But that is sad that it didn't last for her show and tell. She is so cute. You are so lucky to have such a sweet little girl like Riley.
ReplyDeleteI didn't realize that she didn't like her hair. We always want what we don't have. When we are young we can't appreciate the things that make us stick out. Hopefully, in the end, Riley's special beauty will make her feel unique. For now, though, your tears are justified. My heart broke a little just reading it.
ReplyDeleteB
Any time she wants it straight, just bring her over! I will be more than happy to do it for her!!!
ReplyDeleteShe is so cute! We should get together so I can see that cute face! She seriously is such a doll!
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